Marriage proposal tips:  What to do and not to do

Proposing marriage is one of the biggest steps you'll ever take. You want the moment to be perfect in every way. And, most important, you want her answer to be a resounding “yes!” Presumably, you've thought long and hard about your mutual feelings, hopes and dreams as well as more practical matters. Here are some marriage proposal tips to increase the chances of success—and also some mistakes to avoid.

Marriage proposal tips:  Do's

• Do find the right person. It sounds obvious, but the fact is, marriage is not something you want to enter into impulsively or if you're having doubts about the woman in your life. For example, you may be crazy about each other, but if she wants children and you don't, your marriage may not survive a divide as wide as that. If you spend a lot of time arguing, if you have different values or if you want different things out of life, do some soul-searching to decide if she is really the woman for you.

• Do make sure you're both ready. Before you propose marriage, talk about what you want from life today, tomorrow and 50 years from now. The more you communicate about what's important to both of you, the more you'll know if you're compatible and if you're meant to be together. You also need to be ready financially. If you can't support yourselves, you should probably postpone getting engaged until you can.

• Do know if you should ask for her parents' blessing. You want to get off on the right foot with the parents of your bride-to-be. For starters, you should know if they're the type of people who will be pleased that you've consulted them before you propose. It may sound quaint and old-fashioned, but you certainly don't want to offend your future parents-in-law—and this small gesture will go a long way in winning them over.

• Do propose in a way that will please her. Think of your proposal as a gift to the woman in your life. Plan it in a way that takes her tastes and personality into account. Is she romantic or fun-loving? Would she prefer an intimate proposal or one splashed all over a billboard? Figure this out before you plan your proposal. We have some great ideas to help you .

• Do decide if you're going to present her a ring when you propose. Again, think about what she'd prefer. For some women, nothing could be more bedazzling than the unexpected gift of a diamond engagement ring. Other women will want to participate in the selection of their diamond. In either case, you need to know what to look for in a diamond before you go shopping .

• Give her the diamond she's dreaming of. You don't have to be able to read her mind to know the type of engagement ring she'll love. Find clues by looking at the type of jewelry she usually wears, consult with her friends and family, or visit a jewelry store they next time you're at the mall together.

• Do make sure to insure the diamond. This is one of the first things you should do after purchasing her engagement ring. Typically, the diamond can be added for an additional cost under your homeowners or tenants insurance policy.

• Do know that she's likely to say “yes.” By the time you pop the question, you should have a pretty good idea that she'll say "yes." Ideally, you've discussed marriage already and have a good understanding of what the other is looking for in a long-term partner. You want the proposal to be a surprise—what you don't want is to catch her completely off guard.

Marriage proposal tips:  Don'ts

• Don't tell too many people of your intentions. You may be tempted to share your intentions with friends and family, but you'd be wise to keep this information from all but a couple of close confidants—and be sure they're people who can keep a secret. If you decide to ask her for her parents' blessing in advance, don't wait too long before you pop the question. No one's likely to spill the beans intentionally, but people do slip—and you don't want to ruin this big surprise.

• Don't memorize your proposal . Regardless of where you propose or how, you want to do it in a way that is the ultimate expression of your love for her. Don't wait until that moment—or even ten minutes before—to decide what to say. Jot down some notes well in advance. Tell her why she's so special and why you want to spend the rest of your life with her. But even if you're a bit nervous about this moment, do not memorize your proposal. She wants to marry a man, not a robot!

• Don't embarrass her. You may want to shout your proposal to the world—or at least to everyone in the immediate vicinity. But be careful not to let your enthusiasm carry you away. Some women cringe at the thought of a public proposal. If she's more of an introvert or dislikes being the center of attention, don't even think about proposing into the microphone on a crowded dance floor.

• Don't overextend yourself financially. You should have no trouble finding a beautiful diamond ring within your price range. The important thing is not to overextend yourself. What should you spend? The commonly accepted guideline for purchasing a diamond engagement ring is two months' salary. That number may or may not work for you, but it's a good place to start. Need help with planning and budgeting your engagement?

• Don't take her response for granted. Despite all your planning, things may not go exactly as you intended. Furthermore, things may not go exactly as she had imagined. Be prepared for a range of possible reactions. She may or may not cry. She may be overwhelmed or rapturous or completely calm. She may say "yes", "no" or "maybe." You may think you know her well, but try not to have any preconceived notions of how she'll respond, or you may be disappointed.

• Don't despair if she says “no.” There's always that chance she'll say no, but don't lose heart. Talk to her, and find out why she's not ready. She may simply need more time, or she may not be the right girl for you. If that's the case, it's far better to find out now than to marry the wrong person.

• Don't propose too soon… or wait too long. There's no magic formula that says when it's the right time to get engaged. But if you're thinking of proposing a couple weeks after meeting her, slow down. The time to propose marriage is when you've been committed to one another for an extended period of time, when you've talked about marriage and a future together. Finally, if you're finding it hard to make that commitment, be aware that most women will not wait around indefinitely. So muster up the courage and go for it!